The Courtship of the Masses

"You can have brilliant idea, but if you can't get those ideas across, they don't do anybody any good." - Lee Iacocca

From the archives of psychological literature we further our understanding of human nature. Even though we know a tremendous amount about human behavior - how to change, how to influence, how to become; we seldom make complete use of such information. What's even more difficult is communicating the vast amount of knowledge we have of psychology to others for their practical use. This dilemma is the proverbial Gordian Knot that must be cut with effective communication.

Any idea, any information, and any solution for that matter is worthless unless properly communicated in an understandable format to our audience. Whether we're dealing with a client in business, or constituency as a politician, a teacher to a student, or a parent to a child; we must acknowledge and effectively deal with this problem. An effective communicator is first and foremost adaptable.

That is, he/she able to find common ground with whomever they communicate with. For example, the most effective way to build rapport and communicate with a child would not be to act professional and proper. The best way would be to play the games they play. The effective communicator can enter the child's world and play whatever a child plays.

From this example we can see that the limiting factor in being able to communicate effectively is one's ability to enter another's world. To learn the "reality" they inhabit, and to be curious and interested in learning more about it. Too often, our laziness forces us to try to impose our reality on others. This is by far the worst way to effectively communicate, and is a sign of a limited communicator.

By definition an effective communicator is versatile, and thus is supposed to be the most flexible in his/her ability to communicate. Legendary psychotherapists of modern times such as Fritz Perls, Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir, Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Anthony Robbins all share this flexibility in common. A common definition associated with "pathological" individuals is the inability to see outside their own reality. In essence, the extreme form of this inability to see other people's maps of reality is thought of as pathological. In fact, Timothy Leary's model of Interpersonal Dynamics is based on such a principle, and has been used widely as a psychometric.

A recent sales book I read dismissed the idea of trying to find commonality and to enter into the world of the buyer. Though it might work effectively for some, that does not mean it is the most effective. And based on boatloads of research from business schools, psychology departments, and optimal sales forces, the consensus stand on the value of increasing adaptability and using it to enter the world of our audience. I caution, however, that to enter does not mean to mislead, or to become a copycat. It means to surrender your rigid views for moments in time to expand your awareness of others, and thus be able to understand and provide value to those you wish to engage with. Ultimately the end result will be the ability to effectively sell your product, service, idea, reform, or what have you.

Angel Armendariz

93% of What You Say; You Don't...

Those of you who have read my e-book "How To Become a Sales God" know that I emphasize a lot of nonverbal communication strategies. A lot of this information comes from several sources. First, Richard Bandler, and John Grinder; the creators of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Other resources are Daniel Goleman, from Harvard (emotional/social intelligence) and Alfred Korzybski(General Semantics). The unifying thread among these individuals is their analysis of non-verbal communication. It turns out MIT re-discovered what's been discovered.

Research has pointed out that roughly 7% of what you say is transmitted to another via the content (actual words). That leaves about 93% in limbo. It turns out that the 93% comes from body movements, facial expressions, eye movements, tone of voice, pitch, and pace. The founders of NLP provided the most comprehensive outline of how what we think is expressed by our non-verbal "cues." They did so by meticulously observing 3 of the most powerful therapists of the 20th century, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, & Milton Erickson (Gregory Bateson, also provided context for NLP).

The popularization of NLP also had an ambassador in Anthony Robbins. Robbins through his books & training became a powerful leader in the Human Potential Movement.

What's most interesting about this is the fact that much of this research is ignored. However, some institutions, such as the U.S. Military, have used the expertise of NLP trainers to enhance soldier performance.

I was reading a executive level business magazine yesterday, and found myself learning about the re-discovery of the power of non-verbal communication. Forty years after Bandler & Grinder innovated NLP, MIT, Human Dynamics Group, found evidence, analyzing customer service reps; that successful reps talk little & listen much; and logic, context, words mean little, what matters is pitch and tone. Wow, MIT on the cutting edge. Why, do we extend our learning curves so much?

Just in case you didn't believe me about the power of non-verbal communication...now I can reference MIT, lol; at least that adds more credibility.

-Angel Armendariz