Most everyone likes to be confident. Confidence is how effective a person feels within a specific area or situation. Confidence is refreshing, it aids in your performance; its a liberating sense of potential. How can you decipher someone with real confidence from someone who's putting a front?
David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., explains several interesting ways of finding out someone's confidence level. He uses examples of athletes, performers, and speakers; that when performing go beyond themselves, or forget themselves. Someone with confidence isn't thinking about themselves, or is not self-conscious.
Lieberman says, " A nervous person has an ego consuming his thoughts because of fear, worry, and anxiety...and he can't help but focus on himself."
Several giveaway's to lack of confidence are:
-high pitch voice
The natural stages of development for a person in any arena follow this pattern:
-unconscious incompetence - unaware of incorrect performance
-conscious incompetence - aware of lack of ability/skills
-conscious competence - knows what to do/person needs awareness to be effective.
-unconscious competence - performs correctly without attention/awareness.
From these stages you can see that a high level of confidence would be in the unconscious competence arena. Think about driving for instance. If you can remember the stages you went through in learning to drive; you can clearly see how the 4 stages played out for you...leading up to current level of unconscious competence.
Whether you have the level of confidence you wish to have or don't is irrevelant. The thing is to realize that you will go through all stages to realize ultimate confidence. Its natural to do so; and it is worth going through the first 3 stages in order to get to the 4th.